Let’s all laugh at the kid we saw shopping at K-Mart…..while we were shopping at K-Mart.
Do you vote? I often do, without much enthusiasm. In the US, there is basically one party - the business party. It has two factions, called Democrats and Republicans, which are somewhat different but carry out variations on the same policies. By and large, I am opposed to those policies. As is most of the population.
I’m also troubled by, not what Senator McCain says, but what members of the party say. And it is permitted to be said such things as, “Well, you know that Mr. Obama is a Muslim.” Well, the correct answer is, he is not a Muslim, he’s a Christian. He’s always been a Christian. But the really right answer is, what if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer’s no, that’s not America. Is there something wrong with some seven-year-old Muslim-American kid believing that he or she could be president? Yet, I have heard senior members of my own party drop the suggestion, “He’s a Muslim and he might be associated terrorists.” This is not the way we should be doing it in America. I feel strongly about this particular point because of a picture I saw in a magazine. It was a photo essay about troops who are serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. And one picture at the tail end of this photo essay was of a mother in Arlington Cemetery, and she had her head on the headstone of her son’s grave. And as the picture focused in, you could see the writing on the headstone. And it gave his awards—Purple Heart, Bronze Star—showed that he died in Iraq, gave his date of birth, date of death. He was 20 years old. And then, at the very top of the headstone, it didn’t have a Christian cross, it didn’t have the Star of David, it had crescent and a star of the Islamic faith. And his name was Kareem Rashad Sultan Khan, and he was an American. He was born in New Jersey. He was 14 years old at the time of 9/11, and he waited until he can go serve his country, and he gave his life. Now, we have got to stop polarizing ourself in this way. And John McCain is as nondiscriminatory as anyone I know. But I’m troubled about the fact that, within the party, we have these kinds of expressions.
You’re like a worst-thing-ever saying machine.
I know all that I’m going to let myself know — fucking HIlarious man
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe."
- albert Einstein
That motherfucker is a Ready, Shoot, Aim kinda dude. Keep your eyes on him
Heard it on the radio
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he’d learned in seven years.
Smirnoff Ice is terrible. It is Limeade-scented Clown Sweat in a bottle. One flavor of Smirnoff Ice is just Sunshine Punch Kool-Aid mixed with farts. For Raspberry Burst Smirnoff, they put rubbing alcohol and Good n’ Plenty in a blender and flushed it down a prison toilet. It’s like someone wiped their ass with a pear and stapled it to your tongue. One time a convicted rapist fucked a produce section and the result was Pomegranate Fusion Smirnoff Ice. It’s like someone force-fed a fruit cup to a cow and then took it back out four stomachs in. Smirnoff Ice tastes like someone dropped a tube of strawberry lipsmackers into a bucket of cologne. You’d think someone dug up Carmen Miranda’s corpse and fermented it in an old paint can but it’s actually an Ice. If Jolly Ranchers could piss, it would taste like Strawberry Acai Smirnoff Ice.